Promoting Autonomy

Today I’d like to share a thought with you, this is something that I experienced a week ago and was further enhanced this morning by reading a lovely post from a lifetime friend. 

One day last week, I had a horrible feeling which came from the pit of my soul, it took me back to a time in my life when I was at my most vulnerable, it was uncomfortable and something I didn’t want to keep feeling, so I came up with the notion of accessing my healing through autonomy, instead of seeking a fix by turning to others. Something was different, something had changed within. I listened to my intuition and inner knowledge so my next action would take me somewhere else. I was lifted to a higher level of emotional intelligence, I had grown.

It is normal to seek comfort in times of distress through people, it is totally normal to turn to someone for comfort when feeling anxious. These people may be friends, family, partners, even your children but there is another way which can be a long-term solution as these feelings will crop up time and time again. What if you could find that healing within yourself? You wouldn’t need to depend on others so much when those ‘uncomfortable’ pangs of worry resurface.

The solution…

Simply sit with the feeling. Try to accept what is happening in your body at the time, embrace how you feel, and sit with the uncomfortable. Take deep breaths and I can guarantee, it will pass just as quickly as it surfaced. By doing this, you are increasing your own autonomy to heal yourself, you are proving you have the ability of power over yourself. You are exercising self-control and managing internal turmoil by being self-reliant.

Going through the uncomfortable alone means you reach the other side of that tunnel. Seeking help from friends means you avoid the tunnel when dealing with the feeling. So when it crops up again and it most likely will, you will be in the same position as before, seeking external help and avoiding the tunnel.

It is infinitely better to look for the long term solution through yourself. By going through the tunneling process, you can become familiar with its territory and the prospect of revisiting that is not so daunting thus anxieties reducing.

I call it ‘Sitting with the Uncomfortable’.

So when you are having a bad day or a bad moment, or you have a horrible and uncomfortable feeling, usually emerging from within the pit of your stomach, perhaps someone said something which has triggered a bad memory, all you need to do is stop and sit with it. Embracing the moment at that time will allow it to soon pass 🙂 By doing this, you are accessing your own power of self-acceptance and self-love. By loving every part of you, you begin to heal. So sit with the uncomfortable as these moments arise and you will heal.

* This blog is intended to promote the idea of expressing the power of autonomy. It is for people who are in general, functioning on a day-to-day basis. If you have a long-term case of sustained anxieties on a daily basis, you may benefit from regular counselling to unravel the root causes which still fit within the paradigm of autonomy.

Singer-songwriter | Counsellor | Author & researcher: Mel Golding is the founder of Meltopia. Her own experiences of growing up as an artist in the music industry led to her passion for the well-being of artists today. This company is new and will promote products, services and entertainment for all musicians and performing artists. Mel also hosts her show Facing Mel's Music which can be found on Spotify and YouTube.

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