This is a big topic. This is where most people confuse forgiving with condoning which is not the case at all.

It took years for me personally to get my head around this topic and I still see others struggling when it comes to forgiveness. It may be something that comes easily to some but certainly not everyone.

If you practice religion and are a religious person, forgiveness may be ingrained in your studies where you may be taught how to forgive and adhere to the duty of forgiveness. However, this may not necessarily mean you have truly found forgiveness from within, as it is the feeling of forgiveness that comes from a place of trust. It is personal and private and only accessed by you. Nobody knows how you truly feel.

An act of forgiveness starts with yourself. It is met at the core of your soul with whom you must consult to come to an understanding. A child can easily be made to apologize as parents frequently tell them to “say sorry!”, or parents of a young adult want their developing adolescent to understand the acts of wrongness. After all, for the protection and moral upbringing, we instill discipline, all in aid of guiding children’s personas into good people.

What if sufferings are so bad that it’s too hard to forgive or forget?

People have suffered awful ordeals at the hands of wrongdoers. Being the victim of such sufferings can cause many feelings to surface, from anger and despair to helplessness and violation, all causing conflicts within the victim. I speak from a platform of all types and levels of acts from mild to criminal offences. Despite the type of suffering, from severe abuse to simply owing money, or saying something offensive, the same rule applies to inner peace.

Forgiveness is an act of letting go.

Forgive is not to forget. It is to make peace with yourself. It does not at any time, condone the situation you suffered nor does it solve the issue but what it can do, is bring you less stress, and less anxiety, and assist in releasing depression or negative feelings.

By forgiving, you are taking yourself to a higher level and becoming a more emotionally intelligent version of yourself. You have the one-upmanship when it comes to being the better person, the person who can forgive. More importantly, you can leave the anger behind, it is unhealthy to hold these anxieties and stresses over issues that may never be resolved which can cause dis-ease and illness.

Louise L. Hay spoke about dis-ease and illness relating to emotional difficulties in her book ‘You Can Heal Your Life’. I will be taking a deeper look into the act of forgiveness and I will have available for you, a more in-depth read for subscribers.

In the meantime please remember, forgiveness is something you are doing for yourself. You are letting go and not making yourself ill over holding onto negative feelings which cause you mental and physical harm. Holding onto the negative will impact absolutely every aspect of your life.

I can help you learn how to forgive but only you can decide when you are ready for this, as it is an autonomous decision and a selfless act you can do for yourself.

Remember…you take control over your own life and you hold your own power.

I look forward to writing about this more in an e-book and hope this can help you.

Please write your comments on how you relate or whether you have any other thoughts.

As always…

Look after yourself…!

Singer-songwriter | Counsellor | Author & researcher: Mel Golding is the founder of Meltopia. Her own experiences of growing up as an artist in the music industry led to her passion for the well-being of artists today. This company is new and will promote products, services and entertainment for all musicians and performing artists. Mel also hosts her show Facing Mel's Music which can be found on Spotify and YouTube.

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